as good as it gets ?

My last day before I start my job- I should finish some things up, get ready. Get set.
For starters, I fiddled with the settings of the blog. Real essential stuff...ahem. Lucky for me, Marjan from CowRoad  (http://cowroad.blogspot.com/) rescued me once again and what you see now are the results from our collaboration, more her work than mine. She has such an eye for the artistic details! She also magicked me a new header which you will be able to admire later on, I just couldn't wait to show off.

Also, I started another craft, after finishing two small crocheted round baskets, I am now knitting some cloth to fill those up for my pregnant friend. With a baby, you can never have enough of those things cluttering up your every room, right?

Of course, there is my lazy knitting still around (was it Homer or Mila who managed to capture the ball of yarn and donate it all the way to Ginny's food bowl I wonder?) and my two-at-a-time-toe-up socks which I should have taken the time to finish by now. But mentioning these projects serves as a distraction for what I did finish and am having a hard time letting go of- the thousand pyramids quilt I made for the daughter of a dear friend. Have you ever had that feeling, for instance when you are about to finish a good book but you don't really want to finish it ?

A long time ago, a friend explained to me that the function of the thousand pyramid quilt was to keep an ill child entertained: there were to be triangles of all different fabrics with only one repeat, which the child had to discover. That is not how I made it, however I did use a range of different fabric that I have used over the years to make quilts. I think there is a lot to explore in this quilt for little O- there are fabrics that I have used in quilts for her mother as well as two previous ones for herself.

I have poured all my love for her (and her mom) into this quilt to send it overseas. This is my wish-I-were-with-you quilt for them. Even now I see spots that might need some more quilting, like V struggles declaring some of her pieces of art finished, perhaps like my friend Julie (http://julierowanzoch.wordpress.com/) has to decide that a draft is as good as it gets.

But hey, now I can start one of my other thousands of ideas! T is in desperate need of a quilt to take to college (I imagine). Something more masculine and adult-like than the two he has now. And that's for starters!

Recipe

The day began nice enough- strolling with my coffee through the yard, getting my vitamin D while enjoying the birds singing, feeling the slight breeze.

I guess I should have know that it was going a little downhill from there when I couldn't understand the nurse who was giving me my tetanus shot. I was wearing my hearing aid, but I had forgotten to turn it on...
With my arm slightly sore but otherwise fine I decided to do a little shopping. The buttermilk turned out to be leaking on the new rug for the kids' bathroom, but hey, I've got a washing machine so no big deal. (the rug has just turned a whole load blue, thankfully just a whole load of towels).

 R loves rhubarb crumble and I found nice rhubarb at the store, which soon was cooking on the stove...I didn't bother to look up a recipe because I bought an unspecified amount of rhubarb and I usually cook with ' a little bit of this, and a little bit of that...'- turns out, it was a little bit too much water.
We were in need of bread and I bake one every week so I know that recipe by heart. I think. I have no idea why the bread turned out on the bricky-side today. I guess this way it will fit better in the sandwich container.

Did I learn to be more careful when squinting at the recipe for 'perfect lemon torte' (Luscious lemon desserts, Lori Longbotham)? Eh, no. Of course not. Too lazy to get my reading glasses and read carefully, in addition to being too eager to finally use my pan with removable bottom, I mixed all the sugar and lemon zest into the crust. I guess this time we will forgo the 'generous amount of powdered sugar' that the recipe instructs me to sift over the top before serving.

yes yes, I can see that my version is just a bit less perfect

 I already made the crust dough for the goat's cheese torte. Still not quite getting the idea that I might be experiencing 'one of those days', I took several liberties with the recipe for the cheese crust (The enchanted broccoli forest, Molly Katzen). I ignored the 'up to 1/4 cup' whole wheat in favor of at least 1/2 cup, and got sudden inspiration when I spotted some dried sage to crush that into the dough as well. Finding more than half of the sage on the floor might have been my final clue. Do I dare to proceed with the filling and the baking? I cut up a whole watermelon for granita (with lime juice and fresh mint from the yard- Ellie Krieger) but I am waiting until another day to try that out!

Natural

harvest from the yard: basil, cherry tomatoes and a hot red pepper- thanks to R

I kind of like things natural. But I guess it all depends what that may mean- your definition, and certainly mine...For instance, I don't like to use artificial stuff, not in my food (that's one of the reasons I make some stuff myself, so I know what is in it), and also not on me. I do not like to use 'products' in my hair. I do not own any kind of make-up. I have never in my life had a manicure/pedicure. At this point in the post, you are probably thinking I should have titled it weird instead.

the natural stone of the path with naturally growing moss which I love

 In the yard, I like things to grow or not to grow, but I am not even a big fan of landscaping. I do some weeding though, now that we do have landscaping, because there is something to be said for letting the things that we want in there indeed grow, in favor of some intruders. I dislike lawns, they don't make sense to me. But I am not following through on everything with this life style, for instance, I do like air conditioning. This morning I voiced my doubts about this frivolous preference to R, who laughed and said that one could question a lot of modern habits and before you know it, we could be living like Neanderthals. How is that for support?

hosta 

Multi

Marjan from CowRoad explained to me that I needed to resize my picture files,  the attempt is what you see here- clearly needing some more instructions and work! But the sun, the rocky background, and the flowers make a -in my eyes- summery picture

Of course the question during one of the job interviews was whether I am good at multi-tasking. Hmm. I never really know what exactly is meant by that, but if it means doing all kinds of tasks without finishing one  first, then yes, absolutely. Although I do believe I did some real multi-tasking yesterday afternoon, when I was working on two types of bread and several different procedures involved in making strawberry ice cream.. At the same time I did have conversations with my kids, either by text or in person, unpacked the dishwasher and loaded it back up, etc etc. I took care of the cats, boiled the potatoes for the salad and made olive tapenade. 

The results of these efforts were more or less successful, and I was contemplating the fact that this resembles work as a social worker in the hospital as well. The dough was rising outside, because that is a nice warm place. However, when I put it out, I placed it in the shade, and when I went to check on it, it stood half-baked in the (90 + F/ 30+c) sun. That is not warm, that is hot. 
Also typical at the end of a day in the hospital / kitchen : I was left with considerable mess to clean up. And with a delicious dinner!
Another question was inevitable : what do you do for self-care? I wondered what kind of answer would suffice to that question, because self-care is so very personal. So I spoke of hobbies (time behind the sewing machine) and attitude (I try not to take anything personal). I mentioned having four cats - this is tricky because it might make me look like the crazy cat lady that I in fact am- and how research has shown that having cats is supposedly good for your blood pressure. 

I did not, of course, mention my late night worries when the cats do not respond to my calling them in, or the early morning yarn-bombing -courtesy of Homer- that I have to unravel in order to navigate the living room.

progress on my lazy knitting

those were my scraps for the day- enjoy yours!

Missing

What I absolutely do miss here in the US, is using my bicycle as means of transportation. In the Netherlands and Germany that was how I would get around, to school, to work, to the grocery store, to friends' houses, to the dentist...well, you get the picture.

borrowed this online, obviously (to me) this could not have been taken in my neck of the woods

And when I had T, at first he would come with me in the baby-carrier of that time (don't recall what brand or anything unimportant like that) and later in a seat that was attached either in the front on the handle bars or in the back above the wheel. Of course this got trickier after the girls arrived, and we went by foot for a while.

well well, found this online too- this would have been ideal- if we had stayed in Europe

In CO, I had one of these for a while:

But apart from the fact that the bicycle was not sturdy enough to handle this cart, and that the kids seemed uncomfortable in it, the main reason that we don't use the bicycle as transportation here is the infra-structure. These cities/towns simply are not designed with bicycles in mind. What's more, they are not designed for any form of transportation other than a car. Yesterday, when R and I went for a bike ride, I was once again flabbergasted by the planning (?) of the paths around neighborhoods- It is uncertain what these paths are for to begin with, because there is no sign to inform us about the designation. So people use them for walking and biking. Clearly they are meant for some form of recreation but not transportation, since they just cease to exist at some point. And when they do go on for any length, they are not meant for people who use wheelchairs because there are either no ramps at all or the ramp is haphazardly put together.

Things are as they are, and I have to concede that in the city planning committee is trying to remedy the situation. By painting bike lanes in the middle of the road, in between car lanes (!!). Also, there are relatively more ramps in the city. (I just wish that they would have visited Hannover, Germany, and studied the situation there...).

Would I bike-to-work if it wasn't such a suicidal mission? I might not, it already being over 30 minutes by car to get there. For now though, that question is moot. I think I used that word correctly. I'll write a scrap about language another time. Enjoy your day! 

if you could see me now

Dad, if you could see me now, I think you would be happy with where I am, what I am doing...I think you might be able to see that your life lessons have paid of, that I am trying to instill in your grandchildren what I have learned from you. You would see that  we all have a picture of you in our rooms, and that we remember you in many small and big ways. When I bake dutch pancakes, the kids know who taught me. Your love of nature and travel and your curiosity live on in the next generation. You taught me "smiling doesn't cost anything more". You also taught me to be humble, never proud- a virtue which is quite foreign to the culture I am living in at the moment. You were kind and gentle, especially with small children and animals.    We had our differences, as it goes. But even if we didn't always agree on things, I still miss talking with you about stuff.

Pappa, als je me nu kon zien! Ik denk dat je blij zou zijn met mijn plek in het leven, wat ik aan het doen ben. Ik denk dat je zou kunnen zien dat je levenslessen geleerd zijn, dat ik probeer ze door te geven aan je klein kinderen. We hebben allemaal een foto van jou in onze kamers, en we houden je herinnering levend op allerlei grote en kleine manieren. Als ik pannekoeken bak weten de kinderen wie me dat geleerd heeft. Je liefde voor de natuur en reizen en je interesse  leven voort in de volgende generatie. Je hebt me geleerd dat glimlachen niks meer kost, en om bescheiden te zijn in plaats van trots- iets dat deze cultuur vreemd is. Je was altijd heel goed en lief met kleine kinderen en dieren. Natuurlijk waren we het niet altijd eens, maar ik mis praten met je over allerlei.

Thinking of you makes me smile and cry. We are going for a bike ride now. You know which memories that evokes. Thanks dad. I love you.

Als ik aan je denk glimlach ik met tranen in mijn ogen. We gaan zo een stukje fietsen. Je weet zeker wel wat voor herinneringen ik daar aan heb. Dankjewel pappa. Ik houd van je.

Dutch

People often ask me if I miss my country (the Netherlands, not Holland- but I will not start that discussion here). There is not really a yes or no answer to that question. I miss some things, and others not at all. I miss my family, but I am fine.  Over the years, I have come to understand that the country I left no longer exists. Gone is the era of the great health care system during which virtually everyone was insured and nobody would end up homeless or worse due to inability to pay for treatment. Also gone, for a large part, is the famous dutch tolerance- if I go by the news and reports from friends and family.

However, I am and forever will be Dutch. Who I am is where I come from, the whole story from birth to now, so I guess there are about sixteen years of American in me as well as two years of German.

The hibiscus  has started blooming in the backyard. It always reminds me of the Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck. If you don't get this, you should read the book, it is brilliant and still relevant.

Other than some more lazy knitting and the crocheting of the basket I did not tackle any projects yet. R and I are enjoying our weekend with just this and that.

Beauty

The table still looks so small without the extensions, the house still a bit quiet without the excited calls "poesje, poesje" (kitty, kitty) or " jah? jah?" from little L. Her motor lies abandoned in the garage. I have found small left behind tokens: an orange hair clip, a white sun hat. The blow-up bath has been drained. But we are moving on to other excitement and joys of summer.

It appears that, most likely (I can hardly believe it), exactly one year after graduating, I have a job. It even feels weird to write that- I thought this would not happen anymore, and so it seems too good to be true. But this morning I got two calls from people in-the-know who said that it was official. The tentative starting date is July 1st. So many learning opportunities await!

these are not my favorites, but they are growing on me because of their gorgeous heart

Suddenly, I feel the need to work on all kinds of projects. I also am in a hurry to start getting a bit more fit. It is a gorgeous day here and a walk is in the planning!

the beginning of the bottom of a basket for some baby stuff for a pregnant friend

 And especially for you, Julie Rowan-Zoch, some more path-pictures. More will follow asap.

Sad

The house feels so empty and quiet. I shortened the table to it's original size, I put away the dishes from the delicious crepe- breakfast that E made and was enjoyed by all of us minus R (alas, his duty called earlier in the morning). I haven't swept the floors where the reminders of the presence of a little girl are still abundant: various crumbs and play dough - nor have I attempted to tackle the rest of the household chores that were left untended because of the family festivities such as T's graduation and enjoying the family. We hugged, we waved them off, and I looked for solace in my tumblr account where I find beauty and inspiration but this time no real cure for the sadness I feel because of the goodbyes.

So many memories were made, and I fell in love with little L. Next time I see them all, she will have grown so much and not remember me. That is the most difficult part, we see each other so sporadically. Of course, there is the modern communication which makes it a lot easier already to keep in touch, but it doesn't even come close to the real thing.

I am very happy that T's graduation was attended by not only us but his oma and uncle. This is an important time and transition in T's life (and yes yes, in mine as well!!). So when they asked to keep the applause until after every one of the roughly 650 students had 'walked', we obliged but we did whistle and yell out, because come on, that is MY SON graduating and I do want to make some noise about that!  I took some pictures but wouldn't you know it, the camera ran out of battery shortly after the ceremony.

Family

I am not going to be posting much this week, because I am just a little busy enjoying my family who came all the way over from the Netherlands to spend some quality time with us!!! My mother, my youngest brother and his wife, and my little niece are staying with us. It is a nice chaos, although the cats are not enjoying it that much.  Little L is very enthusiastic when she sees them, says sweetly "hajo", and then squeals with delight, at which point the cats make a run for it. Homer is unexpectedly the most interested in becoming friends with L, and he even lets her pet him (which she does incredibly gently for an almost 2-year old).

Aside from each other's company, we are also enjoying very nice weather- in the 70's (in de 20c), no rain to speak of, and mostly sunny, and the big one: no major humidity. The whole family will attend T's high school graduation ceremony this coming Friday, a very big deal! So it is shaping up to be a GREAT week!