have you ever...

...seen the far side of a mountain swallow the sky (lyrics of 'It will follow the rain' by The Tallest Man on Earth)

...gone though your house working on a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and oh this needs doing and that needs tending to and then you see something else and remember what you forgot and it ends with your love asking you why there are socks in front of the microwave and are they clean?

...had one of these days when you let a lot of things slip through your fingers and you have to clean and bend down more than you planned?

...wished you were somewhere else at the same time enjoying where you are? 

...simultaneously been afraid of what people might think and yet not care?

...had so many plans that you already know that you will never have the time?

...felt that fall has a kind of sepia feeling, sort of untidy and yet glorious?

...thought you should get off line and start doing?

Yeah. That and much more. 

I am aware

...of all the mass killings/deaths and tragedies in the world, just this weekend alone...D.C., Baghdad, Nairobi -
I am very aware, as a social worker and privately, of rampant poverty. And I do care, deeply. Those are not the kind of things I want to talk about on this blog.

I choose to look at the bright side (of my life), and I credit my love, a counselor named Margo, and Lisa Alther's  book 'other women' (among influences from several dear friends) with becoming the glass-half-full kind of person I currently am. This was definitely not always the case. I used to mourn every dead bird (reference to the afore mentioned book) and that really did not get me anywhere but in the dumps. Plus, it did not help anyone else.

I am not turning a cold shoulder, I am focusing on the beauty and the joy to survive the darkness. Like re-posting inspiring pictures and quotes on my tumblr  http://mycatsarecuterthanyours.tumblr.com/. Purely for my mental health. So that I can try and make a (very) small difference during the workweek. That is all.

when live gives you...

... a migraine, make waffles in the morning. Especially when you are a 'lucky' migraine sufferer who does not get nauseous and being upright actually feels better than lying down. Even though I would have loved an ice-pack on my head. Or just going downhill on a bicycle in cold weather (I've done that but is a tad dangerous if you close your eyes because the light hurts).

banana blueberry yogurt oatmeal waffles

It did slow me down quite a bit yesterday, which was annoying on a Saturday, but I have learned to function with migraines over the years. Who has time when you have kids and jobs.  And like I said I'm lucky. I do take an overdose of certain pills to assist in making it bearable, the downside is that I then feel as hopped-up as when I took sudafed and had chocolate cheesecake for breakfast (long ago, far away).

The weather is beautiful, and so I had the pleasure of helping my love with the sanding down of the bathroom cabinet doors and drawers etc, outside, on the driveway.

He used the machine, I did the fine-motor edge stuff by hand. We were nicely covered with a thin film of dust. And if not that, then with cat hair from a certain very clingy cat (all of a sudden, no, actually, since the kids moved out- he may have abandonment issues).

He is hogging my arm as I type. And I'm wearing a dark t-shirt. Lovely. For today, I will tackle some chores as well as enjoy the outdoors as well as having a friend over for dinner. Happy equinox!

apparently...

...I may not have been clear on the extend of the kitchen 'project' I mentioned in my former post- of course I would like to renovate or rather rebuild my whole kitchen (or perhaps move to a larger kitchen?). For now though, (and for many many years to come), I am just hoping for a solution for that part of the kitchen only, the missing table/work island. Not a big deal, and definitely a luxury problem.

As some people may know, I love to bake, and would like a larger work space with storage for the bake stuff, so a kitchen island that would provide this would be nice. Still, major baking took place this weekend on perhaps 2 feet of work space (you'll excuse my not-so-great sense of American measurements). Three kinds of bread and an apple cake (if you have ever been in an Italian kitchen, you may have wondered about the magic of those delicious multi-course meals prepared in such a teeny space).

Further un-deterred by the lack of kitchen table, we went for a bike ride, had to shop some, took a longish walk in the state park, played with the pressure cleaner, had a fire two nights in a row, verified that the kids were still doing well, read, relaxed, talked, did some yard work, all the fun and necessary activities that come with weekend.

I attempted to do some knitting (projects for Christmas not photographed) and some sewing on the quilt, but with five cats there is always at least one friendly 'helper'. My love worked on a unique stand/frame for some of the art that we would like to display.

Perhaps nothing special, our weekend activities, yet to me it was a celebration. The first cool air through the windows, the jungle sounds, no alarm clock, watching the cats play in the yard, a whole weekend (no shifts at the hospital) to enjoy and clear my head.

good

Apparently, 'people' ask Emma 'all the time' how I am doing. She responds to this question "she is doing very well", which is absolutely true, thank you. Of course, the facts have not quite sunk in yet. However, I think my general 'in the moment' living is one of my saving graces. Another is definitely my job- I simply don't have time to sit and mourn.

And my love and I enjoy each other's company. Most importantly, the kids are alright. They report a mountainous workload, yet great professors and interesting classes (bar perhaps Emma's 2-hour lecture on cardboard). Things are going well and thus I am doing well.

Although, we are not making much progress on 'the kitchen project'. This island looks like something  I would like:

image found on tumblr

or something  like this:

image found on tumblr

But instead, this is what I currently have:

Yep, the three trip-trap chairs my parents gifted to our babies long ago (and far away). I happily moved the kitchen table to Thijs's home, thinking I would finally get a round table. There are two problems with this great plan: 1. It involves spending money, and 2. I absolutely do not like pedestal tables. But I am still hopeful that we will have this problem solved by Thanksgiving.

where to begin

Somewhere in the middle perhaps. Or random. There are always so many topics and ideas that pop in my head for this blog and never come to fruition. Even more ideas and wishes for improvements in the home and crafty projects that will never come to pass.

At least I have re-started  work on Thijs's quilt with a finalized design plan in mind, approved by both Thijs and Lauren. And to my amazement, my love and and I only took two trips to the store to settle on the kind of tile we would like to update the floor and wall of our guest bathroom (well, kids' bathroom really, and I do not feel that the kids are actual 'guests').We are notoriously difficult and slow to come to a decision on things like that.

Hence the terrible timing of re-doing a bathroom when we've just started to support three college kids- we couldn't get it together before now. Of course it is practical that they have moved out so it will be no bother when the shower is out-of-order.

I also procrastinated for nearly a year before making time to go to the doctor for the pain in my hip. Apparently, this requires some physical therapy and I am not sure where I want to find the time for that. I took a whole day off to run 'errands' that have to take place during the daytime- when I explained to the kind lady at the X-ray check in what all I had planned she laughed and said :"Hon, you're going to need several days!" Which was very insightful as it turns out. 

It feels like summer finally caught up with us. Temperatures rose and so did humidity. The trees however are displaying definite signs of autumn. So do the stores- and although summer is not my favorite season, I feel unprepared for all the holiday displays. I like to be more 'in the moment' with those things. Planning of course is not one of my strengths. But I am setting a deadline. By thanksgiving, when all my biological children will be at the dinner table, I would like to have finished that quilt. 

small bites of a big city

A week ago we moved our youngest into her dorm, which was pretty exhausting on all levels for everyone involved. Luckily, we had spend some days prior to this exploring the city. We had a room on the 24th floor of a hotel-  interestingly, this did not even feel that high when looking out the window.

nighttime view

The first night, we ate Persian food (at Pars), served by a Russian (?) waitress. There are choices for vegetarians and vegans everywhere in the city, and the food is imaginative and good. What a joy! (for us)

We roamed around 'the villages' and Chelsea, where you can find signs and remains of the Dutch reign long ago. Now this is a brilliant, vibrant, multi-cultural area. We walked a fair length of the High Line, a park build along elevated train tracks- I definitely recommend it! (http://www.thehighline.org/).

daytime view

We made it to the Rose Reading Room in the central library. The Chelsea Market. The Risotteria in Greenwhich Village. We walked and walked.

My love wished to see the Frick Collection- now Mr. Frick was not really PC in his day and age but at least he left us a marvelous collection of the art he managed to buy with his unethically obtained riches.

Sir Thomas Moore, not Mr. Frick

Emma joined her friends in Central Park to hang out and model during a photography workshop, while my love and I took an enjoyable ride on the ferry. We found a large-ish farmer's market on Union Square where the produce was fresh and the prices better than at our hometown supermarket.

We walked around the financial district which is not as boring as it sounds. We landed on sidewalk cafe chairs with a view of the freedom tower, under the Brooklyn bridge, and had a lengthy conversation with an Austrian-American who shared -among others- the story about the seven feet of water that had covered this part of lower Manhattan. He explained the empty and or boarded up houses and businesses. The restaurant was one of the first to open back up after the Sandy-damage. So we stayed and watched the sky grow dark-blue and were joined by Emma and two of her friends for dinner, right there on the sidewalk.

We experienced the convenience and aggravation of using the subway (you get places fast, if the train stops where you need to be anyway, and that really can change on a moment's notice while you are riding).

We hugged our girl and left her and her room mate to sort out the details of living together in their very small and very impractically laid out dorm room with as best feature the large windows they had to block with their desks in order to be able to walk around the obstacles.

My love and I had dinner in  'the landmark where Washington famously bid farewell to his men at the close of the Revolutionary War in 1783' and met Bob the drag queen on our way back.

Well, that's him but the picture does not do him much justice. He is, like the lady who sat next to him said "quite fabulous". She took pictures, I did not. You can find him on facebook,  vine, and twitter (and I quote: "I'm not really on twitter but they say you have to have a twitter so I'm on").

And then we drove back, all the way home. Together. Just the two of us. The texts are trickling in: Thijs finally has electricity but no word on the gas yet; Vera's studio class professors are very nice however the content of the class unexpected; Emma has attended welcome week activities and purchased herbs for her window sill. And we are working to pay off all this fabulousness and doing homey things such as cuddle with the cats and bake cinnamon rolls.