signs

Even I am looking for signs of spring. Longing for more sunshine. Thinking about those days when we can open the windows and feel a warmer breeze.

At work, changes are ongoing- prompting a lot of reflection. Two amazing women have left our team. Part of my sadness about this is completely selfish- I would have liked to grow more, to be challenged more, under their management. They know me so well. Part of it is sadness for the larger workplace, which now has to operate without their tireless advocacy and passionate wisdom. Part of it is for them, because when you have poured heart and soul into something for so long and there is abrupt and painful parting, it brings so many questions. Which leads me back to my own questions about what happened- if these women, whom I admire so much, who are my role models, if they had to leave for whatever reason, am I working at a place where I should want to work? What does it mean, what are the signs telling us?

So as a team, we pull together. Thankfully. Some of my co-workers are giving a fierce voice to all our feelings, worries, thoughts. I am thankful for that as well, for even in writing words fail me to describe.

Moving forward, we have to. Training the kittens to be outside and come in when we call. They are both giving me so much joy, I was wondering if I could get my health insurance to cover the costs of upkeep since they are clearly very good for bringing my blood pressure down.

My love and my girls have been tremendously supportive. Keeping it together at work and then coming home and having the luxury of falling apart surrounded by them is priceless and made me think of these wise words :

I am going to be fine. Because I can still live and work by my professional code of ethics, which includes the  values service, social justice, dignity and worth of the person, importance of human relationships, integrity, and competence.

And today the sun is shining. And I have some time for reflection (and blogging). And the kittens did come when we called.