what's the use of worrying?

Now I know there is very little, if any, use in worrying. And I have learned to do it less and less. Sometimes though, in spite of knowing that worrying does not solve anything, can't prevent anything from happening, will not do me any good, etc etc...sometimes I do lay awake at night and I can't get my thoughts to shut up.

twins!

Sometimes I worry about my kids/young adults, but not so much lately, as they appear to be developing their skills in figuring things out just fine. Sometimes other random common things (finances, healthcare, the world going to hell in a handbasket).

my awesome threesome with their knitted gifts 

The last couple of nights I have been awake for extended periods worrying about the fact that I am changing jobs in January. My excitement about my new opportunity is a little (lot) dampened by several issues I can't openly share - suffice it to say no trivial matters.

My hopes for the new year are thus that these matters will be resolved and I can start without a worry-cloud /bad feeling hanging over me.

My love and I will have to toast the new year without these lovely people though, because they are celebrating in the big city  :-). All three together, with friends.  No worries there!

the day after

Some reflections and impressions around Christmas at our house-

It happens every year: I get sucked into the buying frenzy a bit too much (in spite of my best intentions to the contrary) and I stress about whether the kids get comparable presents (worth and quantity). This continues during the unwrapping. It's crazy-making. And really takes away from the true spirit of the season.

sweet,sweet Charlie

handmade a lifetime ago

On the other hand, I couldn't care less about the mess that is a result of the festivities. I am going to tackle that today (with help) and I am glad that I can sleep soundly even if the kitchen looks like...well...chaos. Although I do not really sleep soundly lately but that is a different matter.

left overs from another round of death-by-ash borer

Other than the above mentioned somewhat irrational self-imposed stress, it was a fine relaxing hanging out and enjoying kind of day. My love and I took a walk in the fresh air (trying out my new hiking boots!!!). No white Christmas here, but a lovely wintry day it was with even a little bit of a watery sun.

The knitted woolens were well received, even if some of the projects were unfinished as of yet. Lucy enjoyed ripping the wrapping paper to shreds. We had our traditional sauerkraut (my love and I) for dinner, along with another dish as proposed by Thijs- Sheppard's pie. Which I thought was oddly fitting, because although I do participate in the uber-commercialism of present giving (to my own shame, see above), our dinner is meant as a little rebellion against elaborate over-consumption -well, at least on Christmas day.

Family traditions and memories is what it is really all about of course. Some change over the years, some remain and are anticipated. We used to have to set a starting time for gift giving as late as possible (not at 4 am), now it was more a debate about as early as possible (10 am?)...But the stockings contained marzipan, as always. Gift giving aside, it is lovely to have everyone 'home'. If I can only remember that as being 'priceless', next time this season rolls around.

this picture made by my love

on this frosty morn

My love just left with Vera for her appointment at the oral surgeon- all four wisdom teeth are coming out (at least, that is the plan). I am nervous for her and perhaps it is for the better that my love volunteered.

So here I am- with my coffee and Homer on my typing arm- contemplating the fact that my last scraps was posted around Thanksgiving - in my mind, I have written plenty of pieces, however when I sit down, none of them materialize on the page. And I am contemplating how, even after this many years (how many?) in this country, I am not good at participating in the holiday gift giving/cookie exchanges and other ingrained traditions.

One of our own, more recent traditions is hanging our first initial in the tree - family and significant others. Jake got his letter this year, because well, he is family, sort of (for those of you who are now confused: Jake has been friends with the girls for a long time, and lives with Vera and Kevin in the big city where he and Vera attend the same school).

Today I am not working although it is a Monday, instead I will make a last attempt at cleaning up for the holidays. And take care of my girl, once she returns home. The best available yogurt is, as promised, waiting in the fridge.

Over the weekend, the guys attempted some projects- the repair pictured above was not successful, but we do have a very fine log holder in the garage now, build with their own hands (Thijs and Kevin, with a little help from my love). The girls engaged in their own activities involving bleaching Vera's hair to about the same degree of blond as Emma's- will show pictures later, as it is funny how much difference a hair color makes in recognizing who is who...which reminded me of long ago after I had given both girls a buzz  cut (one of them had worn it longer for a while) and Thijs asked : "Vera, are you Emma?"

I agree with Vera, the world appears to have gone completely crazy - still, we are trying to celebrate our family gathering with joy and peace and wishing that upon everyone.