the weight of the matter

I don't understand how it works. This weight issue. I've walked and walked, on the treadmill, outside...stairs at work, at home etc. I watched what I ate. And after several months, I was maybe a bit fitter but definitely not lighter.

last time fun on the trampoline (end of a childhood chapter/era)

Frustrating to say the least. Anyway, then we were in Europe for two weeks. And I thought to hell with it, I'm not going to pay attention to that problem, I'm going to enjoy all aspects of this trip, particularly the culinary aspect. We ended up going out for dinner quite a bit. My mom bought all the things she knows I love; every time we visited friends/family, we were treated to cake, cookies, appetizers.

Emma's macarons!!

In Italia, we dined as the Italians dine...okay, not really~ we enjoyed primi and secundi or secundi and dolci (we did observe real Italians go through all the courses - primi, anti-pasti, secundi, dolci...I feel like I'm forgetting a course...), but with a whole bottle of wine to share every night. And tried the Venetian specialties in pastry etc. For sure I thought that I would have gained enormously after this celebration of the good life.

if you find yourself in Columbus, OH, check this out!

But no. Not at all. I LOST weight, way more in those two weeks than I had lost in the beginning of doing the treadmill. This was baffling. My friends opined that it must have been the lack of stress. And in fact, I have gained almost the same amount back since we are home. My body feels clogged and dense and I don't like it.

Seth and Thijs (from the back) in their temporary home-town

What to do but back on the treadmill? Until it broke down...Sigh. Starving myself is not an option I want to consider. The juice cleanse is not for me (I've tried both but my esophagus cramps up when I do that and that is so painful that I once ended up in the ER). So I'm still figuring what would work for me. 

stole this from tumblr- it calms me

A stress-free dolce vita is not in the planning for now. So I am working on seeing the bright side of things- rowing against the tide really as I am of that age that sleeping well is getting more challenging and so is literally keeping my cool during the day (and that in itself can make a person quite cranky). However, there are many positive 'things' in my life and remembering that is not difficult at all.