now I feel forced

..to talk about this past week "from hell" to quote several co-workers, which is definitely not in line with what I said would do last time. 'Things' have been sliding downhill for a while, and although I hope we are at the bottom of the hill, I fear the end is not in sight. The people who have been elected to govern this nation seem to have lost sight of how to play fair and had to put themselves in time-out.

On a state/local level, the healthcare corporation for which I sort of work, felt it necessary to cut 900 positions. This directly impacted several fabulous colleagues and also will directly impact the work that the ones who are left will now be able to do. My supplemental position was cut- the longer I think about this, the sillier it gets really, and although we were told that this was nothing personal, it certainly feels that way. It is okay though, as supplemental I was never promised a certain amount of hours anyway. That's the silly part.

The sad part is of course that in the end, the quality of care may suffer. And that people who gave their heart and soul to the place are now left to work until their last day close before the winter holidays. It is pure grief, what we are all feeling. Nothing good can come of this- not even all the hugs and the support and the pulling together can make this right.

This past week really knocked the wind right out of me. I'm drained. And thankful for this weekend with my love who just lets me rant and rave and listens. And for the cats who will be happy to see more of me come December. And for the time I now can plan to clean and bake and make before everyone arrives for the festivities.

The yard is a symphony of dreary moody droopy colors and textures, a requiem for summer. This prompts my love to finally finally clean out the dreaded basement. I may make it to his level of enthusiasm eventually. I still have my part-time grant funded position which I love. On a personal level it is not so bad. I'm just grieving what was and anticipating with some dread what is to come.