August

It is the month in which my dad was born and it is the month in which he died. I'm infinitely sad today. I so wish that he could have enjoyed life for many more years.

And selfishly, I wish he could have enjoyed his grandchildren far longer, could have seen them grow up into the awesome people they are.

The summer around here has been different than recent years and now I see the leafs turning in the middle of the summer season. It has been less hot and humid, but I am not complaining.

My love and I have spent some time outside in the morning this past weekend- before my day shift started and before the mosquitoes moved in. I made nut bread, and we are gradually rearranging the left-over things after the young adults have picked and chosen what they need in their new abodes.

I tried a recipe for crusty bread that has been circling the social network sites- the dough will ferment over 18 hrs or so, and then you bake it in a cast iron pot. Yum, it tastes a little like sourdough in San Francisco.

And so it goes. Life goes on and needs to be enjoyed while I can. People say all kinds of things to you when you lose a loved one, such as ' he will live forever in your heart'. While that may be true, is it also true that missing my dad keeps hurting. Even though I am lucky to have 39 years of memories, many more years than the kids in my grief group have had with their loved one.

I finally bought a frame for my original art piece 'nine lives' that I won way back when- I may post a picture in the near future. I got a chance to go to the big store in the big city when my 'baby girl' Vera moved out of here and into an apartment there. She needed somewhat more than picture frames. Bittersweet days, in August.