parenting

Technically (one of Emma's favorite words growing up) we are 'done', my love and I, with the raising part of parenting. Our children are adults (and 'grand-adults' instead of grand-children, like Vera said). This past weekend we enjoyed the company of our awesome threesome in the big city.

And while marveling at how indeed grown-up they are and act, I felt that as with many things, I never did appreciate how fast time goes and that you can't undo or edit the past, you can't insert or adjust the tone, take back, give more.

I know I was far from the model parent I wished I was- often too stressed over things that really should not have mattered, too often I strayed from my ideals because of what other people thought or what I thought they would think (if you follow). Did I teach the kids all I should have? Is it too late to impart some wisdom? Of course, they have to figure things out for themselves and that is always the best way to learn- but still.

We attempted to partake in two of the many events that were 'going on' in the city, and both times it literally rained on our parade- but really that did not matter and we had a great time anyway.

We walked and talked, discussed, joked, teased, and sat down to do more of that while enjoying big city amenities.

We talked about memories and more about the future. We visited Thijs's job site. We missed out on visiting Vera's job/school/exhibit site because we ran out of time.

In the end, I hope they did hear me when I told them that I love them, unconditionally- which means, my dears, that we don't always have to agree on life choices or ideas, and that we can tell each other this without it affecting that love, and that, in turn, means that I only wish for you to be true to yourself as much as you can. Even if I did not exactly always model that.

Oregon (part 2-ish)

By now it seems like almost another lifetime ago that we were looking into the deep blue of Crater Lake (Oregon's only National Park- however, the whole coast is a string of beautiful state parks, and all of it belongs to the public, there are no private beaches).

Not only was the lake mesmerizing, the surroundings were breathtaking as well- even if we were literally 'hailed' on during our first brief  hike (and found protection under an ancient tree). We had, in a moment of insanity or sanity, that's all a matter of perspective, splurged and booked a room in the historic lodge with lake view. I have no regrets, I would recommend it to all who can find room in their budget, and ask for the third floor, it has the cute dormers- except I hope that you will have better service and food in the historic lodge dining room if you do decide to go for this. The hike down to the lake's edge is not as bad as the ranger tells you.

From there, we drove to our 'away from it all log cabin' between Bend and Sisters. My love fell in love at first sight - this was after we had gotten thoroughly lost on that particular mountain for a while and were doubting that the rental car would make it alive- and it took me only a little bit longer.

This was a one-room, true log cabin with AMAZING views, which we did not manage to capture sufficiently or satisfactory in any sense.

Such peace and quiet there.

There was an intricate system of bird feeders, a misnomer since the chipmunks not only picked up the spilled seeds (never ever will I see this many chipmunks in one square yard again) but also some daring little ones climbed the poles and walked the tightrope to get to the food.

We stayed there three nights. To my surprise, Bend and surroundings are dry and desert-like. Definitely appropriate for the town to have a good many microbreweries to ameliorate the thirsty throats after a long day in the sun. We went to Deschutte's, (listed as Oregon's #1) which did not let us down. The best beer and the best pub food. I my humble opinion. If you find yourself in Bend OR during the summer, and you want to try out the 'only in the pub' list, hope that they have the 'sagefight'. Or the 'blond walking into an abbey'. The wait staff was extremely good and generous and accurate with hike recommendations. The 'real butt-kickers' (their words not mine) were indeed so, but worth the effort. We did 'earn our beer' and could report back with clear conscious.

Smith Rock

More to tell, however we had to move on to our last destination already. The Mount Hood area. Just as fascinating and beautiful as all our other stops and yet again completely different.

We met the owner of the 'Swedisch Stuga' we rented there, a cabin he stated to have built with his own hands. He added several intriguing and personal touches to the place. To reach it, we had to cross a rickety bridge over a fast stream. It was marvelous.

a small part of the deck that was covered

a short way up a rocky path was this 'outside bedroom' complete with chandelier and light up mushrooms sprinkled through the forest

And all good things... In any case, this was but a brief summery of our adventures. It was fun to get excited about a new place to explore every few days. Although also sad to leave some favorites where I felt we did not have enough time to hike the trails, get a better feel. Oregon: still on my bucket list.

Beer is to Oregon... (part 1)

When we first arrived in Indiana, it seemed to me that during every conversation I had with native Hoosiers, church was mentioned. In Oregon, we would be hiking and every other person on the trail would feel compelled to share their favorite local  micro-brewery and 'absolute must try beer'. Of course,  when we consequently tried these tips, the servers at the brewpubs would then encourage us to do their favorite hike. And so on and so forth.

Oceanside- quirky little town clinging to a hillside. This is the post office and community building as seen from our window at the Three Arches Inn.

I don't mind sharing my Oregon favorites with you all either. Because all of Oregon is my favorite (what I've seen so far). We started out with ... a visit to a Portland brewpub, Laurelwood, where we celebrated our first hours in Oregon in appropriate fashion. Then we drove through beautiful hills along rushing creeks and among coniferous trees (my favorites) to the northeast coast.

We visited a lighthouse, saw whales, took a beautiful hike (okay, they all were beautiful and breathtaking and gorgeous...in my opinion), and finished the day at the Pelican brewery after a quick visit to the Tillamook cheese factory (tip: the best and freshest fudge, the cheese is okay).

On our way to Florence (OR) somewhere mid-coast, we decided on a detour to hike Silver Springs State Park for the most waterfalls (and some very high ones), then pay a last minutes visit to Erath winery for a taste. Our dinner at the Blue Goat in Amity was really representative of a lot of the food we had in Oregon- fresh, innovative dishes with as much as possible locally sourced ingredients.

Our 'hotel' that evening was definitely posing as a motel with a really badly done 50's decor and the included breakfast turned out to be 'on the go' coffee and donuts. Although, the donuts were incredibly delicious, and, of course, turned out to be from a local non-chain bakery.

To make up for the indulgence in those scrumptious donuts, we took two hikes the next day- a coastal trail, and a dunes trail. The latter one about did me in with the sand walking on a timeline (park was almost closing) but all was forgotten by the beauty and admittedly also by dinner and a good night's sleep before commencing to the southern coast (Goldbeach).

There we had our one day of rain, which was much needed, or so we were assured by everyone. Apparently Oregon has not escaped climate change.

Our cabin over there is not recommendable. Although who cares with vistas like these. To be continued for more awesomeness and stories.

after sunset

It's not you,

it's me- I have not had any time or, admittedly, wanted to, write a scraps. Nor did I take pictures to post. What have I been doing? Working hard on the whole 'balancing act'. And not doing too bad at it, but some things just gotta give a little. I can't and don't want to keep up with everything.

So. I will be posting on a very occasional basis. Every now and then. You get the drift.

All is well here, not to worry. All is more than well actually, it's great. In my life anyway.

I am not having any thoughts about the grass being greener elsewhere.

I am just enjoying the grass. And various other elements.

And it is summer break for the awesome threesome, meaning various things from moving, and planning, and exciting changes...for instance Thijs has temporarily moved for an internship in the big city and lives with Vera. Which prompted some reminiscing on how they could not stand each other in their younger years.

Other changes still to come, but may report on those closer to when they actually happen - in keeping with my promise to post when the occasion arises.

Puste Blumen

Because we loved and enjoyed our first born so much, I wished for many more little ones (I remember exclaiming to my mother " I could love ten of these!"). Robert was not quite that enthusiastic, he thought two would be a very good number.

beginning of April 1995

Now I joke that I wanted a girl so much that I got two, or I say that my miscarriages wanted to come together (depending on my mood)- in any case, 15 months after our wonderful Thijs arrived, we welcomed first Vera and 11 minutes later Emma to our family on April 20, 1995.

Emma & Vera

Words will fail to describe the happiness - They were almost term, healthy, and sizable babies, who were kicked out of the warming unit that the hospital had at the ready (see above) to make way for a more deserving little one.

Emma & Vera

Over the years, they have been best friends, best enemies. Thijs had to play 'divide and conquer'. 

Emma & Vera

And 19 times we celebrated their birthday together. Tomorrow, they turn 20 years old, and it will be the first time they are not celebrating together, or celebrating with Thijs and us. I'd like to think that this is a natural result of our trying to raise strong, independent people. 

Emma

Vera

Words fail me now too. I am happy, I miss them so much, I am happy. You go girls!

spring break in St. Augustine, senior year of high school