but

our weekend here was peaceful,

but...not so for other people, some who we know, most who we don't know.

We have been texting with our children who are all doing well, but... a friend from work lost her only child unexpectedly this past weekend.

We have been working a bit and reading a lot, but... in some area of the world people are so desperate for a better, more peaceful life for their children/themselves, that they are subjecting them(selves) to incredibly uncertain and hazardous journeys with small hopes of a better life.

Our children are healthy so far, but... a neighbor told me that her little one has a rare medical condition and that the family's experience with the place where I work was 'the worst they have ever experienced in the medical field'.

We have plenty of love to spread around but... elsewhere in the world, even down the street maybe, there seems to be so much hatred and violence and despair.

People may say good things happen to good people but ... I know this not to be true at all because all people are created equal, and we are no better than the next person, and I am sometimes just waiting for the ax to fall, because, this seems completely random to me.

My gut reaction to all this and more is to stick my head in the sand, crawl back into my own peaceful world, but...I can't escape the news, I can't stop caring, and it is not about me anyway. So here, again, is my advice, for what it's worth- hug your family, spread the love. No buts.

nothing much - count your blessings

I feel like I should post something, but nothing profound or funny or insightful is going on in my brain right now. I am sitting at our kitchen table, Lucy behind the screen, looking out over the back yard with my morning coffee on a Saturday. Isn't that quite a story in itself? And I just saw a hummingbird getting nectar from the lavender and hosta flowers.

I had been feeling a bit  down lately (see previous post) but I think I'm out of that dip now. I just temporarily forgot how to handle the stress and how to count my blessings. That was my oma Margje's favorite hymn - Count your blessings. I would do well to remember that.

Now the scene outside has changed : I see Gus stalking a huge butterfly. My love draining the rainwater from the camping chairs- the young adults had a campfire last night.

At work, I am spending a bit of time with someone who can see the positive in almost any situation, an excellent example to follow.

So my traveling brain was longing for the pacific coast (northern part) and at the same time I am consciously noticing what I can enjoy at home.

Ah, the youth is waking up. Good thing I made a large pot of coffee. Let's see what the day brings.

the head and the heart

both feel a little heavy today. I haven't slept well the past nights, that doesn't help. And some days/weeks, my job gets to me (more than other times). Hence the nights, I suspect.

I find it difficult to turn my mind away from thoughts about all the 'things' I could not 'fix'. People I could not help. The magic wand I do not have. That's a whole lot of negative.

Not that it helps one bit to dwell on that- and I do notice the positive and the beauty, but the balance is just not tipping to the bright side. Even though I did spend a fun day with Vera yesterday. And I have plenty of enjoyables in my life. But it's not about me.

I have another day before the workweek starts again. Maybe time will turn this heaviness away, that and some stitching on the quilt perhaps?

lazy days in (mid) July....

Not quite mid July yet. No matter. I've been away for a while and my sense of time is skewed as it is. Summer is summer!

I was fortunate to be able to attend a national conference pertaining to the population I work with. Incredibly inspiring.  I pledge to make an attempt to apply all that I learned. My head and my heart are still full and this will take some processing.

I was gone for a week, and my love worked up a sweat to prepare a surprise for me upon return: one of the shrubberies that was blocking my view of the yard (in my opinion, not his!) is now in pieces in the trashcan and instead we have flowers!

The fourth of July was celebrated and brought to me my 'oldest' daughter ;-) Vera. She is going to stay for a week! My brother asked me today if I suffer from 'empty nest syndrome'. No, not really- I am enjoying both having my children home as well as seeing how they are growing up and conquering the adult world. I did hear remarks such as 'being a grown up sucks' and 'weekends are so very short'. All true!

Yesterday I went on a weeding spree in the yard, but today I was really lazy. After all, tomorrow I am going back to work 'for reals'. My love is making dinner. We are contemplating turning on the airco ~ the humidity is rising. We are enjoying some white wine. It's July.

the weight of the matter

I don't understand how it works. This weight issue. I've walked and walked, on the treadmill, outside...stairs at work, at home etc. I watched what I ate. And after several months, I was maybe a bit fitter but definitely not lighter.

last time fun on the trampoline (end of a childhood chapter/era)

Frustrating to say the least. Anyway, then we were in Europe for two weeks. And I thought to hell with it, I'm not going to pay attention to that problem, I'm going to enjoy all aspects of this trip, particularly the culinary aspect. We ended up going out for dinner quite a bit. My mom bought all the things she knows I love; every time we visited friends/family, we were treated to cake, cookies, appetizers.

Emma's macarons!!

In Italia, we dined as the Italians dine...okay, not really~ we enjoyed primi and secundi or secundi and dolci (we did observe real Italians go through all the courses - primi, anti-pasti, secundi, dolci...I feel like I'm forgetting a course...), but with a whole bottle of wine to share every night. And tried the Venetian specialties in pastry etc. For sure I thought that I would have gained enormously after this celebration of the good life.

if you find yourself in Columbus, OH, check this out!

But no. Not at all. I LOST weight, way more in those two weeks than I had lost in the beginning of doing the treadmill. This was baffling. My friends opined that it must have been the lack of stress. And in fact, I have gained almost the same amount back since we are home. My body feels clogged and dense and I don't like it.

Seth and Thijs (from the back) in their temporary home-town

What to do but back on the treadmill? Until it broke down...Sigh. Starving myself is not an option I want to consider. The juice cleanse is not for me (I've tried both but my esophagus cramps up when I do that and that is so painful that I once ended up in the ER). So I'm still figuring what would work for me. 

stole this from tumblr- it calms me

A stress-free dolce vita is not in the planning for now. So I am working on seeing the bright side of things- rowing against the tide really as I am of that age that sleeping well is getting more challenging and so is literally keeping my cool during the day (and that in itself can make a person quite cranky). However, there are many positive 'things' in my life and remembering that is not difficult at all.

magical

Q: Why did you choose to set the novel in Venice?
A: You can't physically visit Hogwarts, or Neverland, or Middle Earth. But you can certainly travel to Venice. I wanted to show my readers that there is a magical place in their world that they can actually visit. (Cornelia Funke about her book "The thief lord")

That particular feeling of magical was exactly what I felt during our evening walks in Venezia.

was this perhaps the island with the carousel? 

Daytime was enchanting too. We saw a lot of art in churches and that was good, but the real attraction is the city itself. And some of the other islands in the lagoon.

Burano (the lace island) where the houses all have a different color. Murano with its glass- very unfortunate that we did not get to see any artists in action, I find glass blowing quite mesmerizing.

So we walked. Explored the different neighborhoods. Relaxed for siestas on our balcony (or couch, too bad I did not take a picture of that thing, it did remind me of a gondola).

view from the balcony

We enjoyed. Marveled. We eventually got to the point where we could not get excited about yet another Tintoretto depicting 'the last meal'. And we were less than impressed with the lighting in most musea (except for the Guggenheim, that was great).

The last days we also took the vaporetto (water-bus). Our guide book said that a tour of the grand canal on the vaporetto was especially beautiful, but the lighting was such that there was not much to see! Maybe that was because it was still early in the season.

"Peace be upon you, O Mark, my Evangelist."

 The lion symbolizes Venice and st. Mark.

Basilica San Marco and the Doge's palace.

Of course we had some gelato, wine from the region (Veneto), and delicious pizza and pasta. We were going for the full experience.

Too soon we had to take the vaparetto to the airport and leave this bella vita behind. We had every intention to adjust our approach to the everyday life. Keep some of the 'joi de vivre'.

That has proven difficult- but last night I saw some Indiana magic twinkling under the trees! Fireflies.

full

My heart, and my head- full from two weeks spend with family and friends in the motherland and in the city of Venice, Italy.

First, we stayed with my mom (and got spoiled) and traveled back and forth between Enschede (where I grew up) and Losser (where Robert grew up). Just like old times... (very old times). The weather was lovely for a change. Visiting with family was oer-gezellig (non-translatable, means we had a great time). Tea with one of my 'besties' in high school was also gezellig and wonderful.

Isn't it beautiful in Twenthe? (area in the province of Overijsel). I could not get enough of driving/walking through the country side and taking it all in, trying to memorize this landscape that is so familiar to my soul.

Another one of the (many) highlights was meeting my niece Bente. We took the train to Gronau (in Germany) to see the Stadsgarten / City park, where there were playgrounds and also some animals. For Bente, the best part of the train was walking up and down a small ramp while singing : "wheeeee". We had lunch in Gronau, and later on we had dinner at a Dutch Pancake house. A fabulous day, and I was glad and sad at the same time, because it is hard that I am not really a part of either of my niece's lives.

Bente and my love on the playground

Or a part of my 'best' friend Hanneke's life. I'll admit, I was wondering if we could perhaps move closer- somewhere in Europe perhaps? I can dream, right? Of course, it would be best if our own threesome move to Europe as well. But I'm getting carried away (perhaps).

see how much fun we could have - with Hanneke and Olivia

And back home now, I realize that it is beautiful here as well- I knew that of course. But my heart is torn into little pieces all over the globe. And if home is where the heart is...

dinner at Paradise, a vegetarian/vegan restaurant where my mom took us

Then home is also Utrecht, because the sight of the Dom toren (tower) can still make my heart jump  a teeny bit.

We had tea at the foot of the tower with an 'old' friend from high school (how is it that we had not seen each other in over 20 yrs and the conversation was relaxed and easy and felt familiar and normal?), walked around in 'my' city (I went to university here, my love later joined me to obtain his PhD, and Thijs was born here) and then met up with other friends and my youngest cousin (excellently representing the whole family on my mom's side!) for dinner.

So many old and now new memories intermingling. There are many family members and friends we did not see/meet this time (or previous times). But we'll be back some day. And to those we did meet, thank you for making this part of our vacation so fun and fabulous!